My Fiance or my Friend?

Beautiful.Mess = Trisha.
The name Deana does not deplict the actual person in this conversation, it is a fake name, the person in this conversation wanted to remain anonymous. Robert is the name of "Deanas" fiance.. and as you can tell from the conversation, Scott is an old friend.

Deana: Okay so.
Deana: I'm in a, I guess you would call it a fucked situation.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: .. . Mhmm..
Deana: Don't let Steve read what I'm typing when he comes back, lol.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: M'kay.
Deana: I just wanna talk to you about this, and shit.
Deana: Anyway.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: M"kay.
Deana: You remember me mentioning Scott and Renae? The two I stayed with most of the time when I was at John's when he decided to pull his shit?
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: .. Yeah.
Deana: Okay.
Deana: So.
Deana: Scott has been calling me and checking on me for along time now, and we've always been close.
Deana: And he hates John now, but anyway.
Deana: He told me he's falling for me the other night. o_o
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: O_o
Deana: I'm fucking confused, dood!
Deana: I'm just confused as shit, because I know that everything's great with Robert. No problem there, but there's the fact that I know Scott like the back of my hand.. I pretty much lived with him and Renae when they were married. And we've always been close, so I'm kind of sitting on the fence here.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Well..
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: You should decide which one make you happy.
Deana: I'm trying to do that.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Or happier.
Deana: I'm just sitting on the fence here, asking myself if I should take the chance with Scott. Because we're so close, and I know how he is. Or take the chance of it not working out with Robert at all because I don't know him as well as Scott, or as close.
Deana: Do you get where I'm coming from, or am I just being stupid? O_o
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: I get what you're saying.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: I was in that same position with Steve.
Deana: What'd you do? Go for the one you knew better and you always had a thing for, but never acted on it.. or the one that you don't have that kind of connection with?
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Well.. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years to take a chance with someone I'd fallen in love with pratically over night and I didn't know a thing about.
Deana: Ah.
Deana: Well.
Deana: Let me just give you an idea bout this.. since I'm talking about it.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: But things were going down hill with Michael.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: M'kay.
Deana: Me and Scott both had problems with the people we were with, and we used to talk to each other about it among other things on a regular basis.
Deana: I'd go over to his house in the morning when John would go to work so I wouldn't have to be there by myself with his parents, and Renae was off doing her thing. And I'd watch Jayson with her, and just visit with Scott.
Deana: And we got really close.
Deana: So I'm sitting on the fence, because I know how he is.. and I really do care about Robert. Don't get me wrong there, it's just I've been always waiting for this chance in the back of my mind for three years now.
Deana: But I never knew he felt that way.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Have you tried making a list?
Deana: Yeah.
Deana: Scott and I are almost exactly alike, we can talk about anything, we like the same things, literally, he's a great father and a great husband.
Deana: Robert's really great, but he's kinda clingy at times. He jumped into this and probably didn't think, because he popped off that he loved me after the third day.
Deana: But he is a great guy, I'm just starting to think he's not the one for me. And I've been thinking about this before Scott even said anything to me.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Then maybe you should act on the impulse and go with Scott.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: If you don't feel that it's right with you and Robert now.. Then you don't wanna jump in and have it all come crashing down.
Deana: Yeah.
Deana: One thing that made me even more drawn to Scott..
Deana: He's always checked on me.
Deana: Checked to see how I'm doing and how Hunter's doing.
Deana: No matter if he was still friends with John at the time or not, he never listened to what John said. And still tried to keep me around.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Be right back.. gotta' pee.
Deana: K.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Kay.
Deana: Welcome back.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Thank you.
Deana: M'hm.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Well, That there would tell me that he's not going to pick friends over me.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: Which is a nice quality in a guy.
Deana: Yeah.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: It's your choice.
[.ßéåutîfu£.M觧.]: But if it was me.. I'd probably go with Scott.
Deana: Okay, Thank you, Trisha.. That helps alot.

Threesome?

"Dear Trisha,
My wife and I are totally into kinky sex. What I’m looking for is advice for a kinkier way to have sex. To give a little bit of our sex history: We have sex in many different position. I love having vaginal and anal sex with her. I love using sex toys on her in a whole lot of ways. She really gets into it. In the past, we took pictures of each other while having sex. Now, we are talk about making a video. Besides having sex with her I love with all my heart. During sex, we talk a lot of dirty sex talk. One thing she talked about was having two of me at the same time. Ever since she said that, I always get hot thinking about it. I want to watch her have sex with a other guy, and then I join in on the fun. How would you go about something like this?
Signed,
Pete"
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Well, Pete. There are many ways you could go about it. For instance.. a gay bar.. maybe you'll come across some bi dude who would be willing. Or you could go look around on a few street corners it might cost ya' though. Lmao. Not really. My advice is gonna' have to be a swinger party. Not all the guys there will be married. Some just come to watch. Keep an eye out for one who is alone most of the night. Make sure he doesn't have a wedding band before you approach him. Start it off cool. Talk to him try to find out if he's with anybody.. Preferrably he wont be. Introduce him to your wife then excuse yourself for drinks.. Make sure she is okay with it. It's very important you both think he is cute. Then don't exactly drop the bomb on him.. just be forward and mention that you would like a threesome.. see if he seems interested.. and if he does ask him if he'd be interested in being in one with you and your wife.. The worst he can do is say no. Just don't say "I'd love to see you fuck my wife".. And if all goes well, Make sure you have some back up. I'm not saying you have problems but working under pressure might make things difficult.. So keep your little blue back up pill with you. ;)

I want to make more decisions. Help me?

Dear Ask Trisha,
My name is Michael, I'm 37 and I've recently gotten married. We have been married for about 8 months now and it's amazing.. Just like you said it would be. Meeting that special someone has been the best thing that ever happened to me. My wife and I have recently started trying to have kids. So everything is going great. Except, She loves to make decisions and I mean all the decisions. I don't get a say in anything anymore. We used to do everything together and now it's all her. This just doesn't feel like a marriage anymore. I mean isn't a marriage the combing of two soul.. two lives to work together as one. So shouldn't I have a say in the decisions? How can I tell her that I want more say without causing problems in our marriage?
Sincerely,
Michael
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Well, Michael, You are right. A marriage is the union of two souls and two lives. You should have some say in what goes on in your marriage. After all you ARE a part of it! My advice to you is just tell her. If you want change you can't be afraid to make it happen. What you need to do is tell her you want to talk to her.. Tell her you feel and that you want to help in more decisions. Just make sure you listen to what she has to say about it to. Communication is the key to marriage. You can't make it without it and remember that. Bottling in how you feel will only make things worse, When something comes up that you don't agree with tell her about it. And arguing is healthy. She wont always agree with you and you wont always agree with her, ya'll might argue and ya'll will come to a conclusion and work it out. Just make sure it's only arguing. Don't raise your voice, and stay calm. Remember, Everything will be fine.
-Trisha

Breakup DO's and DONT's

As I was listening to some people talk today I overheard a break up and thought wow now thats the worst way to break it off. So I've compiled alist of the do's and do not's when it comes to ending your relationship.

Do Not's

• Over the phone.
  Breaking up with someone over the phone has to be one of the worst. Not only does it leave you looking like a coward, it's just not right for the person on the other end. Really, How would you feel if you were broken up with over the phone?
• It's not you it's me.
  Face it! If you are the one ending the relationship then it IS you and NOT them. Step up to the plate! Don't try to sugar coat it!
• We can still be friends.
  Yes, I know sometimes when a relationship ends you do stay friends. But come on.. Who wants to hear "We can still be friends" when you're in the middle of ending the relationship. It's just rude. You can't break their heart and mend it at the same time!

DO's

• Face to Face.
  Face to face is the best way to break it off. For one it shows you aren't a coward. If you are breaking up with someone atleast have the decency to tell them in person!
• Be Straight.
  Once again, you can't break their heart and mend it to. Don't sugar coat things just tell them straight up and don't lie. It will only hurt them worse.

Stay in the game!

What is love.. but a big blowling game. You just keep throwing yourself in the game. Throwing the ball hoping for that strike. Most of the time you end up with a spare, you just barely save the relationship just for it to end. Actually, Half the time you don't even get a spare. And what about those gutterballs.. man do I hate those. You know whats the worst.. when you get the 7 10 split and you have to chose the 7 or the 10 and hope it's the right one. What if it's the wrong one though, it usually leaves us asking "what if?"

What if? We could go on with the what ifs in life for hours, days, weeks, even months. Here's what I have to say for all those women/men out there asking themselves what if.. Don't worry about the what if's just keeping throwing yourself back in the game. Keep knocking down those pins one of these times you will get that strike one after another and play your perfect game. You will find that special someone. Everybody does eventually. I know from experience, I've played that seemingly endless game of bowling thinking "I will never get my perfect game" Then in the most unexpected time I got my perfect game.

The feeling you get when you get that perfect game is beyond belief. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Shouldn't that be enough to keep playing. All the heartache goes away and all you feel is him/her. You will understand that the rain is for a reason and the sun really does shine.

So stay out there. Never give up.. There's that somebody out there for everyone. You WILL find him/her. It might just take you awhile. But when it happens nothing else will matter.